


The Legend of BOB

by HillaryLeonor



Series: As Told By Hillary: Dr. Hillary Rodham's Guide To Love and Relationships [2]
Category: Political RPF, Political RPF - US 20th c., Political RPF - US 21st c.
Genre: Birthday, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-26
Updated: 2017-10-26
Packaged: 2019-01-23 13:00:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12508008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HillaryLeonor/pseuds/HillaryLeonor
Summary: Exactly a year ago, Hillary received the most peculiar birthday gift ever. A companion piece toWe Are Not Getting Back Together Ever Again!Rated E for "Extra Offensive". Not "Extra Smut" though.





	The Legend of BOB

**Author's Note:**

> Happy birthday Hillary! Obviously, this is an obligatory birthday fic, LOL. This happens exactly one year ago, when Hillary and Bill had just started their sexual relationship. The events of this fic will be brought up in a future chapter of _We Are Not Getting Back Together Ever Again!_
> 
> I hope you enjoy this fic!

**_October 26, 2016_ **

Happy birthday to me. What a time to be alive.

It’s just 7 PM, and my body was ready to hit the sack. After a 26-hour untimely shift, thanks to an asinine colleague, Dr. Vishal Shanboge, who deliberately filed for a leave on my birthday, my 29th birthday was the worst I ever had. I was hungry, tired and sleepy at the same time, but I didn’t know which aspect of my exhaustion I should address first. I had to reject an invitation to a birthday dinner from my brother, who was in town for a business trip. I was really looking forward to it because I hadn’t seen him in months. He specifically kept the night of my birthday free, but thanks to the sabotage of Dr. Shanboge, my birthday was ruined.

On top of it, the universe seemed to be plotting my 29th birthday to be the worst day in my life. Ever. For some reason, there was an uncommon influx of puking boys and girls in the ER in the afternoon. As it turned out, there was a birthday party a block away from the hospital and the caterers did not prepare the food properly. Urgh, those fuckers. Of course, food poisoning in children meant vomit all over my white coat. And I had the fucking misfortune of wearing my favorite blouse under it, thinking that since it was my birthday, I ought to look and feel my best. Gee. Who would have thought I would be covered in shame and humiliation a few hours later.

Right after my shift ended, I went straight to the doctor’s lounge and grabbed my bag from my locker. I pressed my finger into the digital timekeeper and rushed to the elevator and out of this fucking hospital. I swear, if I stayed for another minute in this fucking place, I would combust.   

“Dr. Rodham! Dr. Rodham!”

I turned around and saw Tamika, the receptionist, jostling towards to where I am.

“What is it, Tamika?” I asked.

“Security wants to talk to you.”

I blinked. “What for?”

“There was an incident earlier.”

I raised my eyebrow. “What incident?”

Tamika struggled to answer my question. Her calm demeanor suddenly shifted to that of awkwardness and I didn’t understand why.

“Someone was looking for you earlier,” Tamika said quietly.

“Who is it?” I asked. I suddenly panicked if it was Hughie.

“He wouldn’t say his name. He didn’t have an ID with him either. He has a package for you,” Tamika replied.

A package from an unknown guy? That sure did reek of serious shadiness. “A bomb? Anthrax?”

“The guy wouldn’t let us inspect the package. He said it was a birthday present, so we couldn’t open it.”

Wow. Someone actually remembered my birthday and made an effort to make my day special. I wonder who could that be?

No, wait! What was I thinking? That guy was suspicious as fuck! Who knows what he could have done? What if he was a terrorist and he planted a bomb in his package disguised as a birthday gift for me? What if that bomb detonated and in the wake of the bombing, leakers at CNN would report that the terrorist was looking for me, and then I would be a subject of the FBI investigation? No, no, no, no. You are walking into a death trap, Hillary!

But still, I was curious as to what the package was.

“So, what happened to the guy and to the package?” I asked.

Tamika cleared her throat. “I’ll let Security brief you.”

I nodded, and within minutes, I was inside the Security Office of the hospital. I was made to wait on the small couch in front of the desk of the chief security officer. If I had to deduce, this was where the guards held the troublemakers inside the hospital.   

I was made to wait for almost fifteen minutes, and I was getting annoyed as each second passed. I was still fucking tired and hungry. I wanted to feel the softness of my pillow and the warmth of my heater. They were wasting my precious sleep time. What was taking them so long?! Was it anthrax? Were they still trying to sanitize the package? Wait, no. It couldn’t have been, otherwise, it would go straight to the cops. So, what was it then? I wanna know! It’s my fucking birthday today and I deserve a fucking break from all the fucking misery in the world! And don’t get me started on that fucking Orangutan whom they call the Republican nominee for President!

All of this thinking and speculating had gotten me all cranky. The faintest traces of a headache began to form, so I rubbed my temple preemptively.  

In the midst of my internal rage, I heard the door open, and huge, muscular guy, who I surmised was the head security officer, entered. He was carrying a birthday gift bag that seemed to have been opened already. The guy reached out his hand to me.

“Dr. Rodham, my name is Jacob Kelley. I am in charge of security for tonight,” the guy introduced.

I stood up and shook Kelley’s hand cordially. “Glad to meet you, Mr. Kelley. Tamika, the receptionist said there was a package for me?”

Kelley sighed. “Well, yes. Earlier, around 1000H, a man tried to enter the premises carrying this package,” Kelly held up the gift bag. “He wouldn’t let us inspect the gift bag because it’s a present for you and he claimed that it was supposed to be a surprise for you. Then he shifted his story and claimed that his package was ‘private’”.

I…I didn’t know what to say.

“When we refused to let him in, he wreaked havoc in the lobby. He claimed that he had a gun and then that caused us great alarm. He was screaming and running around and so we tackled him and finally, we managed to take away the package from him.”

Jesus. Why am I such a magnet for lunatic men?

“What happened to the guy then?” I asked.

“We couldn’t find any identification and he refused to give us his name. He did surrender the package, on the condition that it would reach you. For safety, we investigated the package.”

“What did you find?” I said.

Kelley blushed. “It’s nothing dangerous. We cleared it for release.”

For some reason, when he said the word _release_ , Kelley blushed harder. What was going on? First the weird guy, and then this strange reaction from Kelley? Something strange was afoot.

Finally, Kelley gave me the package, and he quickly scurried off from the office, giving me privacy. I opened the bag, and I eyes almost dropped from my socket when I saw what was inside.

A dildo.

_A huge fucking dildo._

I took out the toy, and for some reason, my mouth watered. It was around eight inches long, its surface was carved with protruding veins. It wasn’t the normal hard plastic dildo that was commonly sold in sex shops or on the internet. It was made of a specialized material that almost felt like real flesh.

Fuck. This was a high-quality dildo.

I turned the dildo around, and oh boy, I almost jumped that it had an on/off button. This wasn’t an ordinary dildo. It was a vibrator!

And appropriately enough, my body was almost vibrating in anticipation just thinking how good this must feel inside me.

Excited to go home, I put the vibrator inside and I saw that there was a card inside. The message was short, but it hit home:

_Meet BOB – Battery Operated Bill._

I found myself smiling like an idiot at the card. I was really touched. I never knew Bill would go such lengths to give me a birthday present, and I hadn’t even told him my birthday. Stupid, but touching.

Alright, fine. It wasn’t stupid at all. It was very, very touching, and I loved it. I even hugged the bag in my arms, which was weird because, in essence, I was really hugging a vibrator. But who cares. Sex is life.

And that was how I ended up drowning in several orgasms in my worst birthday ever.

 


End file.
